Showing posts with label Halloween Movie Reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween Movie Reviews. Show all posts

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Top 5 Most Overrated Horror Movies Ever




Ok, so I have to tell you. I about to venture in to a realm of opinion that seems to be forbidden ground with horror movies. Some of the "supposed classics". And everybody and their love of the "originals". Great. Ok, well, in most cases there are reasons to believe that the classics are classics. And maybe in the cases of some of the movies I am about rant on we can say the fact that I didn't see them when they "originally" came out just due to age. And I saw most of these in the 80's. or Early 80's. And some just recently. Top 5 most overrated horror movies I've ever seen. This is strictly a bias opinion.

5) The original Last House on the Left - Hmmm. It was directed by the great Wes Craven. Ok. What does that mean? Wes Craven's best movies are The original Hills Have Eyes, Dracula 2000 (yes, i said that shit), Scream. and um' Cursed. Wait. No. Not Cursed (a truely terrible movie). Some might say Nightmare on Elm Street but, I wasn't a big Freddy fan. But, it didn't make my list. So Nightmare fans breath easy. This movie was supposed to have been I guess shocking for its time. Because two young girls get kidnapped, raped, beaten, and killed by some convicts. Now, maybe because of its time released this was all true. But, its what most of this list is all about. It doesn't stand the test of time. This movie is no longer even remotely shocking. Hostel? Hostel 2? The Hills Have Eyes Remake? High Tension? WTF. I remember seeing this movie and thinking after it was over wait? Something else was bound to happen. Cause, where's this payoff? Nothing....

4) The Sixth Sense - Oh, hell. M Night Shyamalan. One of the world's greatest hit or miss directors. Now, I will tell you. I'm not a supernatural horror fan. But, the fact that this movie came out basically around the same time as a movie called Stir of Echoes (which was god damn excellent starring Kevin Bacon) however, nobody talks about it. Drives me INSANE. This movie was not frightening. Did not make me think. Wonder. M Night has made two of the worst horror films ever. The Village (which to this day is possibly the worst movie I've ever saw) and The Sixth Sense but, yet made some such a beautiful masterpiece like Unbreakable is beyond me. Stir of Echoes had a creepier house. A unreal performance by Mr. Bacon going bananas. And a finger nail breaking that made every body go "god ****".

3) Halloween III: Season of the Witch - You may be thinking "wait everybody knows this sucks". Nope. Not everybody. There seems to be a ever growing legion of people that love this fucking Halloween III shit. And thats what it is shit. Complete with its Silver Shamrock Commerical and creeping bullshit singing. People are like "its just different". Damn right its different. Where the hell is Michael Myers? Shit, its a Halloween movie for shit sakes. I swear. Jump the shark. Wow. Thank god for Halloween 4: The RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS. Get it. Halloween. Michael Myers. H3 was a POS. End of Story.

2) I Spit On Your Grave - This movie was actually not that bad. It has rape, violence, etc. However, again by today's standards this is no longer shocking. So it does not stand the test of time. They raped this woman silly. Which is wrong. But, the rape in the movie with Jodie Foster was a helluva lot more believable and brutal to me. And stands with me more than the ones in this movie ever will. Neither are right. But, in today's standards. It does not hold up as shocking.

1) The Original Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Wow. This one will get the hounds called out on me. Yes, Chainsaw. And I will say Chainsaw is still better than most of the bs direct to dvd shit that is released today. But, this is supposed to be a classic in terms of cannibals, crazy redneck families, and a chain welding Leatherface. You know this is a decent flick even now. But, I still enjoy TCM 2 and most definitely the remake from Platinum Dunes a 1,000 times better. Maybe, because this suffers from the infamous shocking in the 70's isn't shocking in this era of horror. The remake was strong brutal, raw, gory fucking masterpiece. Not only is Leatherface a beast but, R Lee Ermey is a fucking nut bag legend as that sheriff. The original TCM looks old to me. And in some parts just drags. Sorry horror fans. But, thats the truth.

Halloween The Curse of Michael Myers Review

Halloween Curse of Michael Myers Review

Ok, so i'm setting around in a theater in like 1996 when a trailer came on for Halloween The Curse of Michael Myers. All of a sudden i'm fired the hell up because I'd never seen a Halloween movie on the big screen. lets face it. quite alot of time went by between Halloween 5 and 6. So here was my opportunity. I would like to say this. To me. This is a highly underrated Halloween movie. It stars in his movie debut Paul Rudd (who to this day is one of my fav actors) and it marked the end of the road for a film legend Donald Pleasance. Pleasance died as filming ended if I understand correctly. Paul Rudd plays Tommy Doyle the kid that ran in to Michael Myers during Halloween while carrying a pumpkin and of course while Laurie Strode was getting nearly killed by Mikey. Anyway, this continued to explore the Thorn plot line, answered the question of the mystery man that broke Myers out of jail at the end of Halloween 5 and saw the end of a great character named Jamie Lloyd. Although, her ending was more of a side note and I thought should've either been skipped or worked around. I figure we all got some way of rating these movies. I'll give it 3.5 out 5 machete blades. lol... its better than 5 and 3. hell. better than H20 and Resurrection. oh wait. also it spawned thousands of horror fans spending time on ebay for bootlegs of the producer's cut. Which in my opinion no way as good as the regular cut but, most fans tend to think the producer's cut is the better flick. Anyway, if you haven't seen it. Go rent or buy it. The first 20 mins are decent. But, the last 20 minutes are flat great. Including Tommy Doyle making us recall visions of Tommy Jarvis in Friday Part 4 going ape shit on Myers' ass.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Halloween (2007) Movie Review


Ok, ok, ok. I will get killed on this post for this. but, i don't give a rats ass. I loved this reimaging of Halloween from Rob Zombie. First, of all i will admit i'm kinda a sucker for Zombie. I dug House of 1000 Corpes and The Devil's Rejects. I like seeing the same characters actors in movies. I was stoked that Ken Foree got in this picture. I absolutely loved the aspect of Michael Myers getting a back story. I liked the white trash kid and abusive family aspect. I'm a very big fan of backstories so shoot me. Rob gave Halloween a raw edgy feel that its been desparately needing. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the previous movies and their always good for a watch but, this hits you in the fucking mouth. It was tremendous to have malcolm macdowell as Dr. Loomis and to see the return of Danielle Harris to a large feature flick was very cool. Rob did not stray too far from the original once Michael ends up back in Haddonfield. Like i said i was big on this picture's back story. I continue to be baffled that fans hammer Rob for this movie. I sometimes wonder if they are even watching the same movie. This movie is raw, dirty, ugly and exactly what this franchise needed. I also like Michael being played by Tyler Mane. He added a very Jason Voorhees quality to Michael in order to bring back a freight train feeling Michael needed. I give this movie 4 machetes out of 5. Michael Myers